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Submitted on
January 22, 2011
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You think me mad? Insane? Crazy?
Well, the news declared in bold print that you

"Are going to die tomorrow."

Yes, that's what the reporter said,
so you are of no concern to me

That reporter, she has a distinct voice
(it rattles through my brain) like
she desperately wants to be heard.
And I listen intently – There is no other way to act,
she is of every concern to me

She informs me of things
like

If you step on the crack
it doesn't break your mother's back
No, it's much worse

If you step on the crack,
a serial killer will come and hack
you into tiny little p i e c e s
and then shove them into a sack.
(That's why
you'll always see me hopping on the pavements
whilst the reporter tells me the weather)

"Today's a sunny day"
"Everyone's wearing their coats, it's pissing it down"

Fuck, what are you even doing here?

You're following me, wherever I go
aren't you.
I don't question it; I STATE it.

My sleeping habits have changed?
I think sleeping with one's eyes closed
is a perfectly normal habit –

Wait, she's speaking
Shut it for a minute

Those… Those security cameras
are watching me. Just me -
No one else
See how they follow me?
You, leave now;
don't come near me.

You don't understand; she does
weaving her voice into my head
(and laughing) she talks sense

"Kill her"

See? Perfect, cool, logical sense

You are of no concern to me
I've wanted to write a poem on Schizophrenia for a long time; I'm really fascinated by it. I tried to get myself in the mind of a Schizophrenic, and also to portray the calm madness that may come with it.

A couple of questions: - Have I portrayed the disorder correctly?
- Does the bold make sense as to what it is?
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:iconoppositeeyes:
OppositeEyes Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I have Schizophrenia, and I think you've portrayed it very well for someone who hasn't experienced it before; Great Job.
I'm sorry for the tiny reply but if I went into detail I'd probably end up ramble on and on.
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:iconfetchthestars:
fetchthestars Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2011
First, I want to say that I also have a fascination with Schizophrenia, which is what brought me to your poem in the first place because of the title.
To answer your questions, I don't have very much experience with Schizophrenia, so I can't for sure say whether or not you completely portrayed it correctly. But from my limited knowledge of the disorder, you seemed to portray it brilliantly. As for the bold sentences, I read them as the voice in the narrator's head: the "reporter." I believe that is what you meant it to be, is it not?
Overall, I think you did a great job at portraying the narrator's mental state: maddening and somewhat rushed. I was reading it as if the narrator is out of breath and shaking violently. Also, it's like the narrator can't get what she's saying out fast enough. That's one of the first symptoms I think of when I picture a person with Schizophrenia.
I love your ending. "Kill her" are definitely great words to end with if you want to surprise the reader and keep the suspense open. It works very well. Brilliant job.
:heart:
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:iconlollipop-sticks:
Lollipop-Sticks Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2011  Student Photographer
Thank you so much for the long comment, it's heart-warming :heart:

It's nice to know someone else with a fascination for Schizophrenia; most people I tell just look at me as if I'm mad ^^; But it is a very interesting disorder, I think. I've been studying it through books and such, and it's just so amazing.

And yes, the bold sentences are indeed the voice of the reporter in the narrator's head, I'm glad that was clear ^^

Again, thank you for the feedback, it's very much appreciated! =D
Reply
:iconfetchthestars:
fetchthestars Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2011
No problem! Yes, I agree, it is definitely a very interesting disorder. I'd like to learn more about it someday. Again, brilliant job at portraying it here. :highfive:
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:iconsarahnlove:
sarahnlove Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2011  Hobbyist Photographer
this ia great job. you really figured it out <3 you also stated an hours worth of what goes on in my head, but that made it cooler
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:iconlollipop-sticks:
Lollipop-Sticks Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2011  Student Photographer
Thank you very much :hug:

Thanks for the favourite, too!
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:iconmeldickinson:
meldickinson Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011  Student Writer
well i think you did an awesome job on this.
you got the mind set of a schizophrenic dead on, i think :P
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:iconlollipop-sticks:
Lollipop-Sticks Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2011  Student Photographer
Thank you for the feedback

I researched pretty much all of the symptoms of Schizophrenia and tried to imagine how it would all feel, so I'm glad you think it alright ^^

:hug:
Reply
:iconxmimameidx:
xMimameidx Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Since I have a hard time grasping the concept of Schizophrenic disorder, I can't really tell you if you've portrayed it correctly (sorry about that). But I love the idea and the fact that you were trying to think like a schizophrenic and write this. It's very well done. Now, to me, of what little knowledge I have on the subject, some of the lines sound like someone who has paranoid schizophrenia, maybe.

Although, some of the lines like "You're following me wherever I go, aren't you." and "Wait, she's speaking/ shut it a minute" make me think of the voices in ones head, something that is a part of schizophrenia. I think you covered it well in this.

Overall, nice work! :)
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:iconlollipop-sticks:
Lollipop-Sticks Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2011  Student Photographer
Thank you for the feedback =D

Yes, I was writing about a paranoid Schizophrenic, so I'm glad that came across ^^

Thank you :hug:
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